JUS CAUSE HE MAKES ME SMILE !.

my boo, nathaniel, from YO! GABBA GABBA! lmao

S A Y W H A T ' S R E A L !.

sooo; idk what i talked about last time, but who CARES.
ive recently reached a new state of mind...its called IDGAF! cause i really dont.
i officially withdrew from school today, and honestly im happy about it.
the only reason i went to school is because my parents made me feel like i had to do it..
if it were up to me i would have taken a yr off after highschool; but nah i jumped right in!
well im about to be 20 in 2months and i feel like i need to do whats right for me righh now.
ima jus work now, as much as possible [itsa RECESSION!! lol] and save up, build credit, & move out!
i wanted to go back to ny, maybe thas not for me..maybe ill go farther down south..wudevaa;
as long as its not orlando, and its not IN THIS FCKIN HOUSE !!
idk wut else to write about today...im kiinda at a loss; i have a lot of thinkin to do.
i especially need to think of how im guna break all this to my motha.

well wudevaaaa. i love whoeva may read this;

peace&&prosperityy.
--killuh™



PS; mack is still who im all about righh now,

he makes me happy like no other.
he says hes gettn me suttin to be delivered

sat. on v-day, i dont get my hopes up..
so i wont, but if i get suttin, anything,

that'll def help him win me over ;]

mhmm; "my brown-eyed babyy" in his wordss..

brown eyes to die for :] hehee..
kayy im happy now; gnite all!.

OHmyGEEEEE ;]

i proooooomise "he" STOLE my fckin h e a r t !.
soo me & ant dont talk anymoreee, me & john --ehhh, idk wut to do wid him;
ima always love tht nigga, but i cant see any kinda future wid him;
and then theres my MACKdaddyy. OMG! he's perfect i swear;

its jus the little things he does to put a smile on my face. he talkin bout spendin all

this moneyy & gettin my shit for valentines day.

at this point it doesnt matter that i wont get to see him since ft.lauderdale

is 3.5hrs away [fckkkk] its okayy; ima see him within the month & im SOO happy bout tht.




--last nite me, michelle, JoJo, and madddd people went out for keaidy/michelles bday.
it was prettyyy dope, we all ate at fridays & then my nigga mikeyy [fineASS] and
his homeboys who were all in town frm ft.lauderdale came thru & we all went bowling.
it was dope, his boys were cool, he was finerr than i xpected. & it was jus F U N ;]





but yaaa; im chillin fa now, gunna focus on my MACKaroni & jus try & be happyy.
OH & I PUT RED WEAVE IN MY HAIR TO SEE WUT IT WUD LOOK LIKE & I LOVE IT!!
so im def thinkin bout dyeing my hair red but im shook; lol;

wutchu thinkkk?? dope?? no?? too dominican!? lmaooo;
who knows' we'll see.. but ima take my ass to bed.
--PEACE && PROSPERiTY !.
killuh™

family portrait.

YOOOO! soo; here i am writin again; ANOTHER update for yu all.
friend update:
i keep my friends close..the GOOD ones.
the person i'm with most & find myself confidin in most is MiMi.
im deadass with her or talkin to her everyday. igo HARD for tht hoee.
she wud BOOF* fa me haha; [insiderrr]
but it use to be 3 amigossss guy. and that shxt has MOST DEF died..
cause keaidy on her own shxt; be it her man, or her NEW friends;
it died; and i'm not gunaa lie but it kinda hurts. i love tht hoee;
i was always down fa her but she on some new shxt; her own shxt, minus MVP.
as for everythin else; i dnt really feel nobody else
--i dnt wana put myself out ther to too many people on a DEEPlevel.

family update:
my family is straaaaight wild; on BOTH sides. besides my moms & brother Nick;
i dnt trust nobody really. my dad completely took his self out the family.
after i was brought up to have strong family values && put fam FiRST..
the ones who taught me that can't even properly display it themselves.
its reeeal fckin SAD :[

but wudevaaaal
ima jus DO me, take care of myselff. ima get me a puppy..
so tht can be my only friend && i cud jus be like FCK EVERYONE ELSE!.

[peace && prosperity)
--killluh™

ohh; but when i'm with him... that's it.

sooo; i made one post on here;
& jus straight up forgot to make more..like i always do.
the only thing i've ever done LONG-TERM in my life is..uhh.. live? lol
i don't even remember what i talked about last time;
sooo i'll jus try & see where i'm at in my life
& give y'all a RECAP:

i'm still in school for fashion [this is def my last semester though]
i was in ny for the holidays and like usual i didn't wana leave..
BUT this time it was even harder. sooo MY PLANS ARE..
go back in April, look for a job, and see what happens & who'll take me in.
--i'm currently SiNGLE, i don't really wana boyfriend or none of that.
relationships ruin everything [demetrius could back me up on that]
but well well well, MACKaroni, phresh & always...fbd :[

MACK; he's somethin else, he really is just set out to make me happy.
idk if i can deal wid his insecurities and accept that he's been hurt just like me.
cause sometimes without knowin he takes shit out on me;
or he straight up doesnt realize something are going to hurt me
he doesn't appreciate me enough... but he makes me wana stay in florida.

phresh; i'm not guna front, i treat him like shit, he loves me.
and i really really love him too, honestly nobody is on his level.
he makes me feel a million different emotions everyday;
he makes me think about my life and just..shit. he makes me feel good;
i do think he has some maturing to do; i would hate for this to be just "PUPPY LOVE"
idk if he's ready to really fully give me his heart...

fbd --he's always there. even if i wanted him gone, i wouldnt allow myself
to delete him from my life. he doesnt even always treat me the best.
its not the fact that i adore the way he dresses or the things he says to me..
he has this way with words.. but thats not it either.
i've been all over my head with him since my senior yr of hs.
its been well over 2yrs, and i loved it at times, and other times i hated it.
but ohmy, when i'm with him...when i'm with him thats it.
its like.. we're the only two people who matter in the world.
everything could fall down around us and i'd never notice.
his kiss matches mine, his touch, everything. UGH, let me stop reminiscing.


--well i'm still working at publix, WACK! if something better came along
i'd take it, granted i wana work in NY by the summer hopefully.
but hey, who knows what God has in store for me; maybe i need to spend sometime
in florida, maybe i'll find a dope job & check out miami, hehee.
who KNOWS!.

wellllll ima get ready for work; love yu all, hope yu enjoy bein in my business;
maybe i'll write again tonite about some other shxt thas been goin on. besides BOYS!
--peace&prosperityy.
<3killuh.