well well well.. bigUPS to my bk girls!!

SOOO; i love me some Charles Hamilton; but he wrong fa this.
he put her on blast, when she aint even say nothin THAT foul about him.
he def deserved to get hit like that, and she def gets the BIG UPS!
just watch..



killuh™

i found a lonq lost friend of mine ... *

well well well; look what i found.. its my long lost dimple !

hahaa.. i realized that it shows up only wen im tryinq NOT to smile and lately

ive been doing alot of that; before i was finding reasons to smile; but now i can

honestly say im REALLY REALLY happy. shxt at home gets rough sometimes...

but lately there havent been any issues, i have good friends, nd SOME not so

good ones, but who's couting? its not the quantity, its the QUALITY! my cupcake

michelle, just left today for boston, i fuckin love that hoee, as much as me &

keaidy have faded over the years, i still love her, and she better be with me today wen

i go back to the "TRAPHOUSE" to finish my tattoo :] sounds ghetto ehh? lmaooo.

i have my ryan, he's like sunshine, he makes my day so bright, and its funny cause

we havent talked in a few days cause he's been outta town and its rained everyday we havent talked.

must be a sign lol; i have my loveliees at work, esp kelly, aka kelly kush! haha, thats my bxtch maaan.

oh & some craaaazy shxt, my mom wants me to go to therapy for my adhd & anxiety issues, but wtf.

i dont believe in their methods, i dont believe in their medicines && i got WAY TOO MANY PROBLEMS!

lmao; but idk, maybe its just me, but i really think everyone has these problems, im just aware of them haha.

lets see:

i smoke the ganj; im addicted to SEX; i have a serious anxiety disorder & i panic often;

i have NO KINDA attention span; im afraid to be alone; i GOT ISSUES MAN! but idgaf.

who doesnt? but idk, i def need to get up and make some moves today, lemme get off my ass,

off this computer, and get my life togetha.

ADD ME:

twitter.com/killuhxcici

myspace.com/__killuh

&& idk the fckin thing for facebook; but look up Alicia Muniz on facebook.com hahaa.

peace&prosperityy <333

--killuh™

killuh;s BACK !.

well; well; well; i told myself i'd get back on here like i use to be..
and i truly do apologize to yu all for taking that leave of absence.
if yu all even knew what was goin on durin my bloggin break yu'd slap me;
for TWOreasons:

1. the reason i stopped bein on here was because my "EX" antwan aka phresh
decided that my bloggin was hurtin our relationship [dont read than nigga.]
2. that muufxcka stayed cheatin on me after countless second chances &&
i finally got back to basics, before he made me bxtchass, and told him to
go fxck himelf & to delete my numba frm his fone & my LIFE frm his MEMORY!

lmaoo; yes! its that serious people hahaa;
well lets have a little update on whats been goin on in the life of killuh™
--in the past few weeks ive almost been kickd out the house twice.. im still here lol
my mom loves me too much to let me go so im not too worried bout that !.
--umm, my 20th bday passed on apr25. :] good stuff. jus one year till i can
supress my deep emotional baggage with alcohol .. legally ! lmao
--ive been smoking alot lately, at first i thought it was because of the stress..
but im not that stressed out ... so i mite just be a pothead lmao
--and my moms been super-sick lately, i wish she'd smoke w me... she has
lupus, fibromyalgia, rhumatoid(sp?) arthritis, hbp, sleep apnea, EVERYTHING!!
ima jus keep prayin though, cause idk what i'd do wo my mami.
--i started talkin to an old friend, i shall call him boogieMAN on here. he's
jus the best, ofc like anyother guy, there are certain aspect of him that im not fond of;
like his love for the ladies, but i jus adore his whole spirit. "his essence is a blessing"

beside all that, i cant think of any other updates, but i def did miss my blog.
and i hope all my loving followers missed me as well;
i really do love being on here, and i deeply regret how i allowed someone
sway me away from this; anyways.. ima let it ride; and hopefully tonite..
ill be back writing to yu all again :]

I'M BAAAAAACKKKKK BxTCHES !. lmao

peace&&prosperityy♥♥
--killuh™

damn; its been a long time : [

well; its been way too fckin long.. i kinda drew back from talkin about
my life [esp my love life] here on blogspot cause it was interfering w my relationship.
but since i dnt think i really have much of a relationship left.. i'm BACK!
i wish i'd never stopped writin cause i feel like i have TOO much to speak on.
i got a lot of stress to get off my chest;

MY CURRENT MOOD : depressed; stressed, hurt... all that.


so i found out before i went to NY apr4-15 that my man had anotha girl.
yepp; his excuse was, he was afraid i'd hurt him again so..thas why he kept her.
like a dumbass i didnt end it there, i let it go cause idk..i felt like; im goin up
north and he's guna see me and this is all guna change.. silly me!
two days before i left florida he blew up on me & almost decided to not see me
all because i, ina joking way, mentioned i should be able to see otha niggas durin my vaca.
i didnt mean, i had no intentions on seeing anybody but him...
eventually he got over it, i got to BKLYN Sat, Apr4 and Sunday i saw him : ]
the day was...for lack of a better word, PERFECT. and i was so blinded by the
cute boyfriend shit he was doin [holdin my hand, kissin me, payin for movies]
keep me from gettin down the shit that i needed to know..
the day after we chilled there was anotha episode..anotha drama filled day
with him and that disgusting bxtch. and again, i let it go..cause HE LOVES ME.

we finally saw eachother the monday before i left, and wana hear something funny?
i knew it was guna be something.. and GUESS WHAT, with no fail..the next day;
she was back at her games, and so was he. he's a horrible person...
and he was beggin me to not let it go..and i had this email written for 2days;
the night i got back from NY [wed, Apr15] i sat with my bestfriend & hit SEND.
and he called; we argued; he insulted me by sayin she wud do anythin fa him &&
he's not sure i would.. i gave shit up for yu & yu couldnt do one thing for me ??
is she worth losing ME; clearly...without words bein said.. i know the answer.

now; im jus tryna chill, tryna keep him outta my head.. its hard.
i love him, i fucked up in the past, but i righted my wrongs & this is how it goes?
this is LOVE ? its a sad sad thing to love someone who doesnt give a fuck about u.
but ima go get ready to go out tonite..ima jus try & stay positive.

peace && prosperityy.
--killuh™

i WANA HOLD YURR HANDDDD..

ughh; i dont even wana talk about phresh;
i love him, but shit...if its love am i ever supposed to get tired of it?
i mean im not tired of him, im damn near addicted, but the fighting..
that gets old quick; one day we're good. the next, not so much :[
it just feels like we're doing something wrong. i just don't get it.
i feel like my relationship should be bring me happiness,
but it jus stresses me out.. but then i can't let go cause i don't
wana be sittin here missin him & thinkin bout who else he makin happy..

feel me?

wudeva.. i dont know what else to say about that. tomorrow i feel like
i have madddd shit to do, gettin up to get my nails done early, pick up
my grandmother's computer, buy a new gap cardigan cause ther cute :]
and then goin to my bestie's crib, pickin up her mama, then waitin for her
to get home, and drivin everyone out to millenia mall! yes, im the only one
who knows how to get there. because ima retail addict. a shoppin mall whore!
so therefore, i know where every mall in or around orlando is :] hehe.
i kinda wana go to the outlets too and hit up the giant forever 21 & american apparel.

WHY SO MANY MALLS & STORES YOU ASK?
cause i got a very special something in the mail today...
what, you ask? what could make killuh™ so excited and ready to
buy everythin appealing to the eye? MY FIRST CREDIT CARD !!
citi bank was stupiddd enough to give me a credit care, with a pretty
big limit too, i see DEBT in my near future and I D G A F !.

lmaoo; well ima look online for some cuute shit, cute shit i might
see tomoro on my ventures. im so fckin excited :] yaaay !

anyways; ima take it down, nuttin excitin to talk about..
watchin one of my fave moviees: Across The Universe !.
i <3 the beatles.

peace &&prosperityy.
--killuh™