i WANA HOLD YURR HANDDDD..

ughh; i dont even wana talk about phresh;
i love him, but shit...if its love am i ever supposed to get tired of it?
i mean im not tired of him, im damn near addicted, but the fighting..
that gets old quick; one day we're good. the next, not so much :[
it just feels like we're doing something wrong. i just don't get it.
i feel like my relationship should be bring me happiness,
but it jus stresses me out.. but then i can't let go cause i don't
wana be sittin here missin him & thinkin bout who else he makin happy..

feel me?

wudeva.. i dont know what else to say about that. tomorrow i feel like
i have madddd shit to do, gettin up to get my nails done early, pick up
my grandmother's computer, buy a new gap cardigan cause ther cute :]
and then goin to my bestie's crib, pickin up her mama, then waitin for her
to get home, and drivin everyone out to millenia mall! yes, im the only one
who knows how to get there. because ima retail addict. a shoppin mall whore!
so therefore, i know where every mall in or around orlando is :] hehe.
i kinda wana go to the outlets too and hit up the giant forever 21 & american apparel.

WHY SO MANY MALLS & STORES YOU ASK?
cause i got a very special something in the mail today...
what, you ask? what could make killuh™ so excited and ready to
buy everythin appealing to the eye? MY FIRST CREDIT CARD !!
citi bank was stupiddd enough to give me a credit care, with a pretty
big limit too, i see DEBT in my near future and I D G A F !.

lmaoo; well ima look online for some cuute shit, cute shit i might
see tomoro on my ventures. im so fckin excited :] yaaay !

anyways; ima take it down, nuttin excitin to talk about..
watchin one of my fave moviees: Across The Universe !.
i <3 the beatles.

peace &&prosperityy.
--killuh™

N O H O M O .. hehee.

it's official; i have a girl crush :] and her name is Amber Rose.
i don't care is she's secretly gay, or if she looks like a hooker sometimes.
OR if Kanye is jus using her as an accessory to add to all his craziness,
but she's hot & she makes me wana shave my head LMAO..

ps; i'm sorry Kanye, i meant to say, Martin Louis da King Jr. (lmao]

aahaha; i love these people. i'm goin to bed; i hadda LAME day.

corny ass niggas & a whole lotta nuttin to do; fill yu in tomoro.

peaces && prosperityy

--killuh™

too F L Y to be d e p r e s s e d . .

wellll; i found inspiration.
but thas not all i found tonite.
i found a picture of antwan with some girl.
a girl who he promised was NOTHING.
well, she sure looked like SOMETHING...
and so tonite i'm not guna cry, i'm not guna fight.
i PULL dudes, and ima get mines.
ima make him as important to me as he made me.
and since i clearly didn't matter why shud i let him matter.
i'm too fly to be depressed, i'm too good for this shit.
and he'll prolly read this blog..so heres to you ant...
F U C K Y O U !.

gnite bloggers.
--killuh™

i'm NOT perfect; NOT at all....

i'm a liar.
i'm a fake.
i'm lazy.
i'm a bitch.
i'm over-emotional.
i'm rude.
i'm an asshole.
i'm a cry-baby.


--why doesnt he love me??
L M A O .

too..uhh..too ME to post. i'm not tired; i just don't give a fuck.

peace&& prosperityy.
--killuh™

ionnooo..

would you let me lick you with alliteration & tie you up with similes?

give you pain & pleasure with soliloquies until you beg me for release..

I think we can have the ebonic plague solution...

lace me with your lexiconic seed & in 9 months

we can start to raise the revolution.

I already know you're having an affair with words..

but boo,i'm married to it

--loved this.

UGH; where's my baby when i need him ?!

-"baaaaaaaby..
we're guna cake til 3 in the mornin...
nah nah 4! no wait..3, cause i work tomoro!
kay bae??"

-"heehe; okay baby."

-"kay, im goin to work.. i love yu ali."

-"love yu too bae."

it's 1:30am .. DO YU KNOW WHERE UR MAN IS?!
well; i do!
he is . . . IN HIS BED . . . S L E E E P !.
not cakin wit me..
not lovin me..
none of that.

and where am i?
in my bed..
alone :(
missin him.
3am my ass.
i call bullshxt.





nuff said for now =/
peace && prosperityy.
--killuh™

what would SHEsus do?

"He who hesitates is a damned fool."

-Mae West ;]

well well ; he doesnt even try to resolve our issues..
& maybe he doesnt think ther are any; but i know i have some.
& i didnt make them up, im not happy & he doesnt seem to care.
but fuck him tonite.. to add to shxt he jus FORGOT ME...
he forgot all about me so forget him; i dont wana talk about him.

im slowly kickin this flu; my throat is dry & scratchyy :[
but i got shxt to do tomoro, so no more pj's & layin around.. i hate this.
i need to get, do my hair, get cute & get on with life !
as i was sittin online all day i realized how little money i have.
i dont make enough to save, i was finishin my taxes and after i saw
how much i'd made all year i was like.. FCK ; WHERE'D IT ALL GO?

i feel my wardrobe is NOT where it needs to be, i dont have a bangin
car wid rims & a sound system, besides phone bills, car ins. & gas...
where the FCKK is my money? i have to wait for madd paychecks
to buy anything expensive cause i dont save anything.
so i really want this puppy and i need some new spring clothes...
the puppy is 500 and clothes..who knows how much that'll be;
anddddd i wana go to NY around my birthday in april. and to see "mybaby".

soooo...ima get a little suttin when taxes come in but not enough to cover all that.
how ima shop in ny? how will i even survive in ny? ohh.. woe is me :(
i need a get rich-quick scheme. somebody! ANYBODY!? H E L P P P !
should i have a garage sale? or throw some shxt on ebay? craigs list?
should i have a bake sale? or make up some fake foundation & see if ppl donate?
is that illegal? maybe i shud keep it real & ask ppl to donate to the B.A.H. fund..
yu know; BROKE ASS HOE !! should i rob and steal? maybe..dare i say it..
SELL MY ASS??

lmao; lemme not get carried away.
but for reals, im desperate, anyone with advice is more than welcome to leave a cmnt.
i would most def appreciate it.
well; ima take my ass to sleep, its gettin late & i got a lot of dreamin to do since
the lifestyle i so deeply yearn for is far far far from a reality!!

oh real quickk; check this guy out; listenin to him makes me happy :]


peace &&prosperityy
--killuh™

love... and what happens when you've found it <3

so explain to me how i have a 102 fever but im layin in bed shiveringg ??
my arms, legs, toes & fingers r frrreezing but my head, neck & chest r burnin up!
i hate bein sick.. influenza's a biiitch! anddd to top it off; its THAT time :(
cramps. fever. headache. freezingg. achyy. runny nose. congestion. &cramps ! fck !
wellll; enough of me feelin bad for myself..

so; i dont know whether or not to continue puttin out my relationship issues
on here anymore, i often post on myspace for people to add me on here &&
check out whas goin on in the life of killuh™ and phresh occasionally reads..
this has only been a problem once cause he was reading about me talkin to
other guys wen we split last time; and i figured if he read it from time to time
it might help us out cause maybe he'd realize how i was feelin about shxt.
well; GUESS AGAIN. once again what i intended is kickin me in the ass..
so, like i said im sick, at home, alone, and all i really wana hear is my baby's voice..
i called.. he was mad about some shxt that had nothing to do with me, and wen
i asked if he wanted to call back wen he wanted to talk he muttered something like
"whatever u want!" and "i never wana talk to yu" so me.. im sick.. and teary..
& i jus keep tellin him.."baby, please talk to me.." he tells me about some shxt w/
his mom thats goin on & i didnt understand so he tells me "u never understand!"

now i'm confused as to why is he SO mad at me, WTF did i do? and he's like...
"so, who told u my bestfriend was over here yesterday?" and i explained myself.
WHY THE FCK DO I NEED TO EXPLAIN MYSELF? why are yu turnin my blog
around and makin me look bad? why didnt you feel the need to tell me? did yu
not think i would be a little confused as to why yu needa be hangin wid some other
female? let me go out and find a male bestfriend and see how u react...

SINCE YOUR PROBABLY GUNA READ THIS ONE TOO..
tell me why yu were so mad i knew she was at ur crib? but yu had no concern
whatsoever as to the fact that i still have so many concerns and issues with this
relationship? what am i to yu? if that bitch asked if yu had a girl wud yu say yes?
does ur so-called bestfriend even know who the fck i am? and why is it that we
cant spend more than 20min on the phone without yu knockin out? am i that
unimportant that yu cant stay awake to work some shxt out? i bite my
tongue for yu? i look past my own integrity simply to keep us from fighting...

yu know the kind of person i am, i never gave a fck, but i care so much about yu
& us and makin shxt right that I'M NOT EVEN MYSELF ANYMORE! who am i?
i wana be good to yu and good for yu and i wish yu cud tell me that i havent tried.
i've tried my hardest, and yu said yu wanted this to? but im startin to think u dont.
make the other girls disappear? i did it for yu without any regrets.. are they that
important..and am i that unimportant? i just dont understand...

anyways; thats jus me venting, and YES i will continue to post about my relationship
for people idk to critique me and give their ideas and opinions until he learns to
take me into consideration and stays awake long enough for us to resolve some probs.
ur not gettin rid of me that quick BLOGSPOT!!

as for phresh; i love you with all my heart and i want this to work.
i dont think there is much else to say, i want it to just be "us"
just you and me baby... "ever thine, ever mine, ever ours."

ohhh; hell, im watchin sex& the city..forgive me :] lol..

love yu's
peace &&prosperityy..
killuh™


PS; i wana fckin puppy, pref a POM-KIE (pomeranian-yorkiee mix] & ima get that!!
determination bxtches.