soooo; i jus wrote this LONG ASS POST & it jus deleted itself. B X T C H A S S P O S T !.
anyways..ima try to remember it as well as possible..
its all about phresh; as yu may remember him from my previous post..
i feel like i'm running down an endless road with him, like, i'm goin as fast as i possibly can & i'm gettin NOWHERE!.
i'm not the type to regret, the type to admit i fucked up OR the type to apologize...but here i go!
i've been regretful & conscious that i hurt him.. I FUCKED UPP BABY. and im soo soo soo soo soo soo sorryy!
at times he acts like he still wants me like he knows i want him; but then other times; it doesnt seem like he givs a fck.
he acts like he's gunna try & forgive & forget the past, trust me, THROUGHOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP he def hasnt been an angel..
but everytime i have a problem with him & effort [or lacktheirof] that he is making...he jus continues to bring up the past
&& criticize me about how i think im TOO GOOD; or MY SHXT DON'T STINK.
W H A T T H E F C K D O I H A V E T O D O ?!?!?
--i've admitted i was wrong
--i've apologized
--i've tried to let the past issues go & work on us NOW
--i've cut off anyone & everyone who may be toxic to "US"
-- what more can i do? i'm trying SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO hard & i'm so at a loss as to why he can't realize the
effort i'm putting forward & reciprocate that? i jus want to know i'm NOT doing all this for nothing. i want him to
remain a big part of my life. i wana think about him when i make decisions, i want him to consider my feelings in all he does!.
QUESTION?? is it possible that he'll never get over our past? can we even progress if he doesnt?
will everything that i'm doing to prove myself ever be enough?
well; he should hopefully be calling me soon..so ima prepare my brain for that; i'll probably be back tonite to fill y'all in :]
love yu all..
PEACE && PROSPERITY <333
--killuh™
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4 comments:
good luck sweeite.
and i wish yu and yur relationship the best!
THNKS MAMA;
i def need luck righ now
♥
LOVE IS CRAZY THING. FOR SOME REASON IT DOSENT SEEM LIKE YALL OARE THE SAME PAGE. IT SEEMS LIKE YALL NEED TO LET EACH OTHER GO. AND MAYBE A COUPLE MONTHS FROM NOW IT MIGHT WORK OUT
i understand your pain.
im going through the same thing.
and its not workin. he wont forget your past and you say you are but deep down your hesitant. and if everything your doing now isnt enough then it'll never be good enough, seriously. because hes just a boy and he'll never COMPLETELY understand.
but i wish you luck.
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