paneraaaaa son.

Dear world;
I’m sittin in Panera; tried to use their free wi-fi..til I figured out why it was free LOL that shit does NOT work. Its not even 9am yet, usually I’d be just coming home from babysittin my two favorite little ladies and I’d be eating breakfast and falling asleep. But it has truly been a series of unfortunate events between yesterday and this morning.

My steppops and I have actually been getting along pretty well the last few months; which is surprising because it never lasts this long…it lasted long enough to TRICK ME into believing it may be permanent this time. Silly, silly me! He often likes to say shit to my brother about eating too much and whatnot, and granted he does need to watch his diet, we all do. There is NO need to single him out; that whole tough love thing when it comes to some ones physical appearance does not work…it hurts him and I can tell. So I had a ridiculous headache and slept til about 2:30…and I decided WTF I still want breakfast…so I proceeded to make it as my brother stood in the kitchen keepin my company and tellin me some silly story. And my stepdad walks in and says, “GO WATCH TV, WATCHIN ALI COOK THIS FOOD HAS GOT TO KILL YOU. YOURE LIKE TORTURING YOURSELF”! And my brother left & then stepdad says…loud enough for him to hear, “I KNOW YOU ALWAYS GIVE HIM SNACKS, YOURE THE ONE MAKING HIM FAT.” Wow…really? Was that necessary? No…I don’t think so, so I said, “YOURE FUCKIN CRAZY..YOU AND MOM, LEAVE HIM ALONE.” And he proceeded to chew me out, and the fucked up part was, he decided to tell me how I was a waste & how I threw away 2 years of college & blaaa blaaa BLA!

That hurts…only because he knows I tried to get into school this semester, and that I was even looking forward to it, and that the only reason I’m not in school is because they wouldn’t accept my late registration…which was only late because I couldn’t provide them with all the documentations they needed in a timely fashion … so fuck you!

And then today; I showed to my little babysitting gig as I do every morning at 6am, and I watch these two beautiful little girls Jocelyn & Christy, get them ready, and drive them to school. Something easy, something I enjoyed because I really like the kids, and something that provided a little extra income. Well, today before I walk in, I’m stopped by their mom who “wants to talk” and she proceeds to tell me it’s my last day because of her marital issues. And right then and there I realized it was venting time for her…and of all people, I know how it is to want to be heard…so I let her. And she cried, which made me cry for her, and then we hugged and she spilled out more. Her husband always seemed nice, but everyone has their fronts that they like to put up. The way she explained him to me made me angry, about my father, about him, and about how any man, or even woman, could neglect their family, verbally abuse their wife and children, and still consider himself a MAN. I feel for a woman who is stuck in a home like that, and who feels alone and helpless, and I hurt for those children who have to endure that.

Anyways; as I’ve learned over time, my opinions matter only to me. I hope that atleast once in my lifetime my opinion and reasoning will change somebody’s mind or help them to make realizations and want to better themselves or their situation.

Sooo; I’m going to stop ranting and raving and going on and on…
Have a good day people; Make good decisions; Educate yourselves…because while ignorance may be bliss…that shit is NOT cute lol

Peace & Prosperity..
killuh™