Saturday, February 21, 2009

S O O N E R than L A T E R !. :]

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
i've been at sucha loss lately; a loss for everything..i feel like i've lost myself!
for a long time i've been very secure and confident in myself, but maybe it was all false;
i think when phresh spazzed on me & told me what a horrible person i was & how
even though i claimed to be the realest i was SO far from that just made me open my eyes.
i feel like i've been living a lie since all that went down, if i was fake with him how many
other people have i been fake with or have i been a hypocrite too?? hearing all that
kind of made me feel like i don't have control over my own life & i hate that feeling.

--i've been trying to slowly work my way into phresh's life..
it wasnt until everything seemed really OVER with us that i truly felt like i fcked up
a really good thing. he was good to me, when i ran he chased me, when i treated him
like shxt he waited for me to get my mind right & throughout everything i put him through
he loved me the entire time...i know i miss him cause i hate that i see him talkin to other
females & i def hate to see that he's just fine without me :(


but yeea; we've been talkin a bit lately, mack hasn't been callin so phresh steals the time..
i removed pictures from myspace that have anything to do with otha dudes...and i've been
ON MY GAME with phresh, i don't necessarily want him to take me back, just because i
really kinda feel i can't give him what he needs or deserves [and he deserves it all...]
but at the same time, i want to be all that he wants and needs.
like drake said..YOU DONT NEED NO ONE ELSE, he doesn't. i wana be that.
& yes i realize i keep contradicting myself..but i told ya, i've lost myself..
i feel like i'm jus reeallyy outside my mind, i think i'ma take it down early tonite;
do a little thinkin && take my ass to sleep..



but real quick; look at him...

thas all; STOP lookin at him now...

peace&&prosperityy<33
--killuh™

2 comments:

Kiwi™ said...

Girl I feel you...

I really do...If you love him and he loves you...just maybe it might still work but u might need space first...

Good luck

killuh™ said...

shoot; im hopin for the best.
i mite need space..
but i cant leave him alone !.
--eh; i guess it'll work itself out. thnks tho :]