Thursday, February 26, 2009

when it hurts so b a d d d . . .

he makes me feel sooo helpless.. he falls asleep when i feel we got soo much shxt to work out;
he gets madd & curses at me & blows up.. he's never been like that before :[ did i turn him into that?
did all the hurt i put him thru make him an angry person? i dnt think i cud live w/ knowin tht its my fault.
he's puttin me thru soo much righ now, i dnt think he means to..but subconsciously he's givin me hell !.
sometimes i wana give up soo bad; i wana jus be like FCKITT, why am i even trying ?? but i cant..
he's like dope && im the fiend :[ i can't kick the habit.. i refuse to leave him alone.. ill take as much of him as i can.
i sort of feel like i need him to survive, to keep me sane. & wen i wana give up i jus think back to
tht first hit & how amaaaazing be made me feel. i wana go back to tht.. i wana feel that again.

i hope he can bring that feeling back ; i hope he really wants to. i love him & i want this. i jus hope he
feels the same, im jus reeeeal hopeful.. i HOPE im not gettin these hopes of mine up for N A D A :[
ima let it jus be, let god do his thing & jus keep fightin to get back to basics wid this man...
cause i remember the good times vividly; i miss those good times.
i gotta keep trying. i can't stop...i want it ALL w/ him..

i love you antwan.<33

3 comments:

life & cronicals of meez. said...

i commend you on your efforts and trying to make things work. and as i read it i actually feel your pain.

Marie said...

Yeah ...
So you have just described my relationship

I thought I was the only one with a man that fell asleep when your tryin to work things out ...

That shit pisses me the fukk off!!!!

But yeah .. its good that you're tryin to make things work... shows u care

But maybe wat they need is to see us NOT care .. they might wake up*

killuh™ said...

--thanks; its gotten a little bettr since last nite..


--yeea; gud, im not alone. that niggas alwaaays tired lol. he's been tryin harder too. i know i fcked up & its hard to trust ppl wen they hurt yu; but im happy wid him fa trying. i cant afford to act like idc aftr the shxt i did.
he used to chase me all the time; i dnt think he will next time.

but thnks; both of yu ;] ♥